I am bad at writing, so I draw

Maya Gulieva

November 14th, 2019 4:41 min read 1289 words

I am bad at writing


Because English didn’t used to be my first language.

Because my GCSE teacher told me I will fail.

Because of patriarchy.

Because I am a woman and people aren’t really interested in what I have to say.

Because I can’t construct a convincing argument.

Because of my learning disability, and there being a medical explanation for why my mind struggles to form sentences and arrange things in a linear order.

Because I am a really indecisive person, and by nature of writing things down, I change my mind immediately and delete everything.

Because I am an artist, which comes with insecurities of being “original”, being different.

Because I am afraid to say something that somebody has already said, and doing a worse job of it.

Because I want to be told it’s good writing, it good opinion, it’s the correct opinion, it’s good language, it’s the best choice of words, it’s a topical subject matter.

Because the drafts I write are never good enough, so I redraft them.

Because the sentences I put down are never good enough, so I rewrite them.

Because the words I choose to describe something are never the right words, so I Thesaurus them.

Because writing means overthinking.

Because my relationship with writing is hard work


so I draw.

Because drawing has no orthographic, grammatical, punctuational or sequential rules.

Because drawing has no rules.

Because when I draw, I don’t feel like I’m cheating.

Because drawing transforms disability into opportunity.

Because drawing transforms verbal concerns into pre-verbal ones.

Because drawing is spatial, visceral, lived and experienced.

Because drawing is visual poetry.

Because drawings can be diagrams.

Because drawings can have letters.

Because drawing can be writing.